The Six of Us

I am excited to turn 40.  I am excited to be done having kids and to be in a place where I can start giving back to the community.  For the last year or so I felt that I need to start getting into the community and start volunteering.  So I have been searching several websites to find the right place where I can help with out leaving my house.  So several weeks ago I found an agency that I have wanted to be involved with for a long time but, where they need help wasn't something I felt I could do.  A few weeks ago I found that they were looking for somebody to wash, dry and iron and that is something I can do from home. The agency is Days for Girls and it is something that I can really support. Then tonight I was once again looking while I was at work and found that a national crisis text line who was looking for volunteers to answer texts two hours a week from persons in crisis.  Once again something I can do from home after the kids are in bed...

About a week ago we went to the Meridian open house. I prayed and fasted before I went really hoping that I would get some answers and I would want to go get my temple recommend and go back to the temple.  But it didn't happen.  All the anxiety and emotions came out.  It is an amazing building.  I am thankful I got to go with the kids and Lee but it still isn't a place where I want to be.  Although it is a place I want to want to be. Then on Saturday Jake had the opportunity to preform at the cultural celebration.  I am sooooo proud of him.  It isn't always easy for him to get up in crowds and he isn't a natural performer but they pulled it off.  The celebration was cheesy but well done and thought out.    There were 6000 kids in all and I think they time and effort they put in was impressive so much hard work for the past two and half months. Not sure where this leaves me I am so many feelings so many mixed emotions.  I am than...

It is going to be a long winter.  SAD kicked my butt last year and I am trying to keep it at bay this year.  Not to say there won't be hard days but I am looking  over all I can do better and be better.  I am considering a light but I need to do some research on the best one. It is frustrating because I spend my professional life telling people how to deal with their mental health concerns but I don't always take my own advice . I owe it to my kids and Lee to not spend the whole winter being unproductive.

Tonight I am feeling both and I am feeling overwhelmed.  It isn't one thing it was a million different things although there was one thing that seemed to break the camels back so to speak.  There were several situations where people just flat out ignored what I was saying.  I am hurt and drained.  Both are linked back to Andrew being diagnosed with hand foot and mouth disease.  I am not sure I even agreed with it because orginally I was told by a different medical professional it was something else.  Andres symptoms were so mild. Nobody else has shown symptoms and we are way past the incubation period.  But nobody wanted to hear my information.  In one situation it was just totally ignore and then she said something on Facebook. Ugggg don't ignore me when I send you a text and call you and then act all concerned in public. There are other things such as needing information on the cultural celebration and PTO stuff where I was just ignored. ...