The Six of Us

I am struggling with some bitterness.  I was doing fine and then out of the blue a facebook post made me remember something and the bitterness came back.  I wonder if I will ever get to the point where I don't think about it.  I am bitter at the wrong person I know but she is the one that is in front of me so she gets the anger.  That being said I am very grateful.  We have been so blessed.  Lee's friend was in town this weekend and they had a good time.  I worked at the hospital yesterday.  I wish I could work there more.  I really love it.  I am dreading going back to work back to never ending cases back abused kids and back to parents who are using. 

I have lost over three pounds in a week. Go me. I started tracking exercise and calories and it always says I go over my calorie allotment for the day but I need extra calories for breast feeding so it works out. Plus it tracks water intake and I feel guilty when I look and I haven't gotten as much water as I should. Busy rest of the week. Company for dinner tonight awards for football torrid and company all weekend. I need to the kitchen at least tonight the rest can wait. Andrew is being needy today so we will see how far we get.

Lee has started planning his bike trip for 2013 and since this year the kids and I didn't get to do a road trip I have started planning ours.  I have two options.  Silverwood or SLC.  Both have their pros and cons for sure but I think Silverwood would be the best option.  Lee is going way earlier then he normally does and so most schools will still be in session but not us. I spoke to Lee about this last night and he was fairly adminant that I not take three kids to Silverwood alone.  Something about losing Jake while there was three adults within 20 feet of him.  Dang...I hate it when he is right. Well I have a few months to plan.  The biggest issue we have this point is day care.  I have a month to find a day care solution that I feel good about.  Honestly, I want to be done working full time by the end of January so we just have to make it through a few months.  My dad was in the hospital for several days for bleeding.  It was related to the cancer but it wasn't.  Clear

I have started writing lots of time but I just never finished.  I have several drafts that I never published. We had a family meeting with the doctor.  The cancer is a death sentence.  However it could be years before it comes to that.  It is scary.  But my guess is the fatal blow will be a heart attack.  I am searching for a new job.  One that is part time.  I am not sure if I will find the perfect one.  My job at the state was "reclassified" and now I am going back to doing something I don't really want to do.  But I have a job that is semi flexible.  I wish we had work at home privileges but we don't.  Victoria started a new after school program that is going really well.  Actually yesterday was her first day and she loved it.  Jake is now in a 2/3rd grade combo class and is learning at a 3rd grade level.  He is finally getting challenged a bit.  Only two more football games and I am ready to be done until soccer.  The plan is that Jake will start swimming