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So many mixed emotions

About a week ago we went to the Meridian open house. I prayed and fasted before I went really hoping that I would get some answers and I would want to go get my temple recommend and go back to the temple.  But it didn't happen.  All the anxiety and emotions came out.  It is an amazing building.  I am thankful I got to go with the kids and Lee but it still isn't a place where I want to be.  Although it is a place I want to want to be.

Then on Saturday Jake had the opportunity to preform at the cultural celebration.  I am sooooo proud of him.  It isn't always easy for him to get up in crowds and he isn't a natural performer but they pulled it off.  The celebration was cheesy but well done and thought out.    There were 6000 kids in all and I think they time and effort they put in was impressive so much hard work for the past two and half months.

Not sure where this leaves me I am so many feelings so many mixed emotions.  I am thankful for a place online where my emotions and feeling can be validated.  I was able to "talk" through it with an online forum and while there are still no good answers st this point I will just keep doing what I am doing and hope with time there is clarity.

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