The Six of Us

I just need to write my feelings out.  I got a gift yesterday but it didn't feel like a gift it felt more like you need some help and I am the one to help you kind of gift.  But I didn't want the help.  I don't want the gift I wanted time.  I wanted so much more then the gift.  Ugg...trying so hard not to be frustrated by this.  But I am.   I guess I am frustrated that I wasn't asked it was just sent.  And it will take that I wasn't planning on spending on something I never wanted in the first place.  But I kind have to at least do some it.  Lee and I talked and we found a way to make the gift less time. 

Sitting here with tears running down my face.  Luke just won't stop crying.  I let him cry for 20 minutes then went and got him. Gave him some teething tablets and medication,  He is refusing his bottle.  I let him hang out with me downstairs and he was happy for a moment and then started acting like he was being stabbed.  He doesn't want to be held. I can tell he is exhausted   Meanwhile Andrew was refusing to go to sleep.  Lee is at a church meeting.  He worked late came home just in time to eat say good night to the kids and then he left.   It has been a long day.  Morning started out super chaotic  The little boys were in and out of their car seats four times in four hours.  It doesn't help that I slipped on the ice yesterday and I am tired and sore. Just got in an online discussion with somebody about women and education.  She thought I was wrong I thought she was.  So I just quit commenting.  There were other issues we were discussing.  She told me I was whining and

I need to be done planning things.  Nothing I ever do works out.  Like having three kids 2-3 years apart.  So one of the things I spend time planning worked out like this.  I asked my mom before I booked tickets to PHX if she could watch Andrew Friday.  She said no problem.  But then when I called to confirm when she was back from Ireland she said she was working that day.  :(.  So Plan B...Andrew would go to our neighbor's and mom would be home shortly after the older kids got home from school.  Problem solved.  I wasn't thrilled with the idea but it would work.  Thursday night it was snowing.  I told Lee I thought they would call a snow day on Friday.  He said no way.  I won.  At five in the morning we got a call saying school was closed.  I had called my mom the day before asking if she could take the kids if it was a snow day.  She agreed.  So even though I had spend energy and stress on worrying about the plan it never came to be.  Jake spent the day shoveling his grandmot

One year ago we buried my dad.  I remember that day with fondness.  I remember my cousins flying up from Phoenix to come celebrate dad with us. My cousins who drove in from Washington and Oregon. I remember my dad's old employees coming up from Twin and telling us how dad was the greatest manager they ever had.  I remember Lee talking about Dad and how he was the one who was there when Lee walked out of his own mother's service.  I remember me and my sisters each in our own way speaking about memories of our dad and how much he meant to us.  I remember six great men laying dad to rest.  I remember my best friend being there with Andrew because she knew that is what we needed.  I remember my uncle's speech on his baby brother.  He had never spoken in a Mormon church and I am sure he will never again. I remember that my dad's high school friends were there.  My co-workers from the hospital came to the viewing.  I remember the crazy idea my sisters had to bur

Monday we had an IEP meeting for Victoria.  Long and short of it she has a learning disability but, the psychologist, special ed teacher and homeroom teacher are all certain she will "outgrow" it in the next few years.  In a nutshell she can sound out letters but she can not put those letters together to make words.  So we are going to go back to the basics and between the school and home we are fairly certain we can make it to the point that she can catch up with her peers.  Parent teacher conferences were tonight.  Victoria is struggling big time academically but her teacher adores her and says Victoria makes an effort to play with kids who aren't playing with anybody else.  When we were gone for the four days I got a note from Victoria's teacher saying how much the class had missed her.  Jake's teacher was telling us what a great kid he was and how she loves having him in class.  She appeared slightly shocked when I told her that every year at conferences w

This weekend was tough. Really tough.  Thursday I went to dad's grave.  I am not sure why I go especially with the little boys.  Luke was great Andrew wanted to run to the water fall on the other side of the "street" from the grave.  But I did get some pictures taken for BillionGraves so all was not lost.  Friday Jake had a project due so as much as I wanted to go home and have a good cry after the cemetery I picked Jake up from school and we went to the Hobby store to pick out some stuff for his project.  Then we worked on his project most of the rest of the day.  I did take Victoria shopping for purple hair dye and purple eye shadow. Friday was Haloween. My cousin posted on Facebook that she was thinking of us.  My BFF sent me a text saying she hoped I could make some good memories.  We got together at my sisters for trick or treating.  Kids were great and had fun.  Victoria stayed the night with her cousin and I don't think they slept enough. Saturday was scout