The Six of Us

Today has been painful both emotionally and physically.  My friend told me while she struggled with Siatica when she was pregnant the only thing that helped was walking the floors at night.  Super helpful advice.  Walking does help the pain. When I sit or lay Down the pain comes back.  I am exhausted I only sleep an hour at a time before waking up in pain.  Then I have to pace the floors until I get to the point I can't hardly stand and then the cycle repeats itself.   So  I  so glad  I got some advice on the pain now if I could just sleep.  💤💤

Several times in the last few weeks one of our older children have spent the night somewhere.  Although I am glad they are off enjoying themselves I miss them.  I feel as though our family isn't complete.  Not like I have a bad feeling just a missing feeling. Tonight Lee will be gone for several hours out with his friend and it is the same feeling.  Which I don't usually have when Lee is gone. Maybe I am just feeling lonely in general. Speaking of missing persons Today was my dad's birthday.  More emotional then I thought. More emotional then Christmas.  It was lonely and hard.   And our son who is still waiting to join our family is doing well.  I am ready to be done with pregnancy with constant pain.  I am had some concerns with some stuff that was going to happen after the baby but after texting my BFF and talking to my mom then I think we have a plan.  Although I am not sure how it will turn out in the end.  My mother will be gone until 1/31 which means this baby

It is 11 on Christmas night.  What a great day full of family and love.  Kids loved their gifts.  My mother gave us a portion of my dad's life insurance money which she said dad would have wanted us to have which is something I can see him saying.  But my mother was way more generous then she needed to be.  She set aside money for the headstone.  My sister announced she is going to Vegas and getting married.  We all knew about Vegas but now the trip makes more sense.  She picked my fathers birthday as her wedding day which I think is fabulous.   In other news...I didn't feel the loss I thought I would today.  I love and miss my dad everyday.  But I know his life goes on just somewhere different.   50 days left of this pregnancy.  My plan was to induce on the 13th now not so sure that will happen.  I was measuring a week ahead and I think I have decided to push the induction date back a few days. Lee has not voiced an opinion.  Plus tonight I could not move with out horrible pai

I had a list of tons of things to get done this weekend.I have been up 90 minutes and I have made great progress.  But....it snowed all night and so while I was thinking about going out shopping with the kids then I am not sure that will happen.  I have my second batch of wash going, bread baking, Andrew down for a nap, dessert in the fridge for our church party tonight. I still need to keep doing laundry.  I was hoping for 5 to 10 batches today and I am considering trying out a new bread recipe later.   At some point I need to get some cleaning done.  Victoria is going ice skating today so I only have her around for a few more hours.   I am hoping the Christmas tree will go up tomorrow.  I wanted to make some progress on cleaning out the garage but that is at the bottom of the list. I have our Christmas card done.  I just need Lee's final approval.  I am still working on the Christmas letter.  It has really been a difficult year but nobody really wants to hear about that.  Hop

I spent all day yesterday with the flu.  It was horrible.  I couldn't even keep water down.  Today is going better but since I didn't get done what I needed/wanted to do yesterday I know that today I will probably end up doing too much and then crash at 6.  On Friday morning Jake woke up throwing up.  Although he was super low on energy he did pretty well the rest of the day.  Andrew threw up all over me and the car on Friday night while we were leaving the Festival of Trees and while he has been a little bit of a trial the last few days and sleeping more that is the only time he threw up.  Saturday morning around midnight it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I spent most the day in bed yesterday and the few times I did get up it was a bad idea.  I really think if I wasn't pregnant it wouldn't have been so bad.  When I landed it the hospital when I was pregnant with Victoria they said it is a vicious cycle and that I needed to stop the cycle.  Still super nauseous today and