The Six of Us

I think if Lee and I ever have another child I will be more this way.  We fought for so long for a third child it really makes me appreciate the two I have.   There are women who become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss,and though they are good mothers and love their children,I know that I will be better. I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books,but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited.I have cried and prayed.I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep,explore,and discover.I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold

So excited about my  surprize    this weekend.  I can't tell anybody what it is.  :)  Yes I am evil like that.  So many people are playing a role.   SO SO EXCITED!!!! The hospital just died out.  We sent a ton a patients out the door and now I am done "working" for the day but I need to stick around just in case I am needed.  Hoping to leave at four.   I have so much to do at home and I want to make it to the mall for a new phone.  I had a doctor's appointment yesterday.  Back to the good news/bad news.  The bad news is I was so stressed I almost threw up on the nurse the good news is that I didn't.  :)  Okay there is more to it then that.   More follow up on January 17th.  So grateful for a friend who totally stepped up to the plate and helped me out. 

Not sure how it happened but we didn't send out Christmas cards this year for the first year since Jake was born.  Not sure why we were such slackers this year.  I love showing off the family and telling people what we have been up to this year.  So here it is in a nutshell. We now have a five year old and a six year old.  Natalie was pregnant early in the year but miscarried in May a few days after her graduation.  We are grateful for the kids and the blessing they are in our lives.  Lee spent three months working in Utah.  It was a difficult time but we felt strongly that is where he needed to be.  Lee completed what was his first marathon in October.  He did amazingly well for his first marathon and now has plans to complete several more races in 2012. Natalie has started running and has plans to complete a half marathon in 2012. Natalie recently switched jobs and which she is very excited about.  In July Natalie passed her licensing exam and is so glad to be done with s

12-20 I had a doctor's appointment which was good and bad.  Good because she explained that I had a valid reason for the pain I was having although there was not much they could do about and bad because we still have no answers and I have to go back in a few weeks.  I starting to wonder if my new boss thinks he made a good decision. 12-21 New appointment is set for Wednesday in the morning,  Hoping it goes well because Lee will be in Kamiah for the week.  I shattered my phone today.  It was only the glass and it is frustrating because it did not fall that far and because there was a very expensive case on it.  The case was suppose to be top of the line and protect the phone.  Since everything else works I am thinking I may just go get the glass fixed.  I got some bad news regarding my (almost) old supervisor.  She has cancer but she isn't sure how bad it is. This is a person who gives and gives to others and now she has nobody that can step up and help her.  Lee is out wi

Lee is gone this weekend and I am sick which leads to be being tired which leads to being grouchy.  I think he felt bad he was leaving me sick but this has been in the works for months.  My mom is taking the kids for several hours tomorrow so they can work on projects. Tonight the kids and I are going out to dinner.  There is a little Mexican place that I really like.  I love that my kids are old enough where I feel like I can take them out alone.  I am hoping the doctor has good news on Tuesday or we will be heading into Christmas in not the best of  spirits.  

I just read a post about how people avoid you when you are going through infertility.  How you lose friends (and family) that you thought you could count on.   Most of the people I know who have five year olds have several more children. People don't understand (nor do I think they want to) what it is like.   Most of the people I know have more then two kids or by choice they have stopped with two.  One of my friends told me to stop over thinking things.  True True!!!  I love friends who call totally call me out on thing.  The favor was returned later on in the day.  :)  

I am posting from my phone while waiting for the movie to start. Yup I am that cool.

Twice in 24 hours I knew something but I didn't know for sure.  Both times my "hunches" were correct.  Both are overwhelming and invoulve some very strong emotions.  So I will be heading to Seattle soon.  Part of me is hoping I am wrong. Tomorrow night is Tori's first sleepover not at our home and not at her grandparent's home.  Yea slightly stressful. This may be the last one.  Jake is staying the night with his grandparents and Lee and I will finish shopping and go out to dinner.  It was a a long week.  In addition to all of the overwhelming news I was involved in a file review at work as well as on call.  Running is still going well.  Being up before the sun is so calming and helps me to focus on my day.   The weight is coming off as I thought it would but I am feeling healthier and stronger.  

What a weekend.  I blew out a tire 5 minutes into the trip and then had to switch out vans we hit some snow but nothing major.  The kids had a blast playing with the boys and although the bishop spoke too long at the ceremony the wedding was nice.  The reception was nice and the kids ran around with their cousins and Lee and I were able to catch up with everybody on their lives.  I am glad our kids are older and don't need constant supervision.  Several of Lee's cousins have kids in the 12-24 months age range.  That age is so hard and there was no way they would be able to run around with out adult supervision.  It was nice to get some family news like one cousin is a polygamist and another is getting married very shortly.   Another is traveling the world and another has made their home in the mountains.  One cousin is trying to qualify for the Boston Marathon and another is just trying to survive her husband's major depression.  Several people asked why we didn't h