The Six of Us

well sort of.  Flylady is something that I use to follow religiously.  I stopped when I was going to school and doing an internship although that is the time that I should have done it the most.  But now I am back to 15 minutes a day decluttering and my shiny sink.  Plus I do one batch of laundry a day.  Now I have a garage full of baby clothes and assorted baby things that need to be taken to goodwill.  This week I have done some major damage to clearing out the family room and next week is the living room.  I love getting rid of stuff.  I found a house that is three bedroom and 900 square feet.   I think I could totally live there although Lee may have a different opinion.  We are stuck in this house for a while which is fine.  I love my house.   They have Flylady at work which I need to do.  There is a chance I may be moving offices and so I need to get rid of so much stuff and organize. All in time,  W...

I am not as crazy as I thought I was.  Things do not go the way we plan.  I have great friends.   You can still be professional and cry. Random last minute play dates really help. Sometimes friends need us more then our family.

Lee is usually home on Sunday nights.  I love ending my weekend being with him before starting back to our chaos during the week. But he had a friend that had surgery and because of past events Lee felt he needed to go over and spend time over there.  It is strange being here alone.  Lee said he would be home at a certain time and I have decided that I am going to just stay up.  Pretty sure I will regret tomorrow morning.  I love Sundays.  Spending time with my family is amazing.  Today was an exception because of Lee's injury but we usually like to go somewhere.  It helps force the family time with out the neighbors coming over to ask if the kids can play.  Today we had about ten phone calls and every single one of them Lee needed to respond to.  Next week since it is conference we will chill at home.  Lee loves conference.  I guess I should decide what is for breakfast on Sunday.  I wonder what Lee is going to cook!...

Lazy Sunday for sure.  Although a member of the bishopric came over and Lee passed on a calling.  He seemed fine with it and said they would keep Lee in mind for something else.  This guy is so by the book and so the first question he asked was if Lee was worthy for a calling.  Weird since he just got released from one. Today was emotional although I won't go into the details.  Last night one of the speakers was amazing.  I really trying to focus on not looking for the golden ticket and being happy where I am.  It is a struggle.  It is hard because I wonder what we should do.  I wonder if we should stop or move forward.  Maybe last night was my answer.   That we don't need more kids and Lee doesn't need a job. We should count what blessings we have now and enjoy the ride.   In other news I am counting down the days to a five day weekend.  Ten more days. 

Jake got to have lunch with his grandparents today at school.  We are so lucky we live so close.  I know that it could all change with a job offer but right now we are enjoying the fact they can go to grandparent's day and soccer games and watch week at dance.  Victoria's lunch date with the grandparents is on Friday.  Once again we have a busy weekend ahead of us.  Soccer game, Lee may be going rafting and having a poker night.  I am going out with my mom on Saturday for RS conference.  Had somebody tell me today that I should have more kids.  He stated that good families need to have lots of kids.  Ummm....okay thanks for the advice.  He is a good guy who is expecting his sixth and they are planning on having a child every two years for as long as they can.  I will keep the fact that in January I am doing something permanent to prevent any more pregnancies.  I am sure he would give me a speech that I so don't want to hear....

Yesterday we went hiking at a local ski resort.  It was great to be out enjoying what will probably be one of the final nice weekends.  Today I went running it was great.  I love being out and being activity in the sun.  Sad that we maybe have one more month.  I am trying to convince Lee that I want to run a half marathon in January.  The problem is that due to weather issue of living in Idaho we would have to travel to warmer weather.  I found one in Texas but Lee isn't sure that is such a great idea.  We found out today that a family member is getting married in December. So I am hoping to lose some weight by then.  I know what I have to do and now it is just a matter of doing it.  We also found out that one of Lee's cousins is pregnant.  I try not to let announcements about people having their fourth or fifth child get to me but it is hard.  Lee doesn't understand but I think that is because physically he did not go throug...

Okay we watched way too much tv today.  But we also washed and folded four batches of wash.  We also cleaned the kitchen, made cookies and cooked a great dinner and mowed the back yard. All while Lee was gone.  We also had a soccer game and went shopping in downtown Boise.  I love being in downtown,  Lee came home with all sorts of news.  Divorce, babies, new relationships, and the list goes on.  I am glad he is back to go to church with me.  It will be the first time in two years we have been able to go to classes together.  Hopefully the lessons will be as good as last week.  It is also the first time in almost five years that I haven't had to prepare a lesson before going to church.  Lee got some information in Kamiah that made my heart hurt.  I think it was because I keep hearing it over and over and I feel left out.  Although I am excited for the family I am sad at the same time.  I am considering writing a w...

This week has been full of disappointment.  I won't go into all if it but nothing seems to go as it was planned.  I am looking forward to having a great weekend with the kids.  Well one of them anyway.  Although I did get an email from Central Office and it looks as though the adoption will go through in a few weeks after all. YEA!!!!  Although when I have the consent in hand I will feel much better about things.  We aren't going to California in a few weeks and although Lee is pushing for Kamiah I think we will stay here.  I found somebody to babysit so we can go out that weekend.  Oh yea another good thing the judge ruled in the Department's favor and against the parents in a court hearing today.  And although we have to wait several months for termination hearing I am fairly certain that the parents rights will be taken away and that is a good thing. 

I should be working.  But I am taking a break.  I get so frustrated when men who claim to be men of God are not.  I don’t understand it.  I do not understand how these men can be called and hold callings and then do things that are less then righteous.  Do people ever see through them and just not say anything?  Or did people really not know? How can God call these men to positions when they are committing such horrible sins?  How can he leave them in those roles where they are counsel others on their sins when they are sinning as well?  It is frustrating to watch.  I am also frustrated when people claim the victim role.  Well it was okay for me to X, Y and Z because this person does this.  That is so not how it works. Pretty sure when we get to judgment day the question will not be what did others do? The events of the past week make me happy that I do not live in a small town.  I like that I can disappe...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW8puRqE4Sc&feature=related 10 years ago I can tell you everything about the first two hours of my day. I remember specific things through out the day.  I was watching videos of that day and it was as though I was transformed back in time to that day in 2001.  

I was told to keep something a secret and then I find out it is all over Facebook.  Funny but not really.  A family is being ripped apart and I know way more then I should way more then I want to know.  Hoping the garage sale goes well tomorrow.  I hope that we can get rid of all of this baby stuff and well stuff in general and maybe make some money at it as well.   Tomorrow is Jake's first soccer game of the season as well as wedding as well as my niece's birthday party.  I can't make the party but Lee is taking the kids.  I love that he gets along so well with my family and is willing to go to functions that he doesn't really want to go to.  I need a vacation a break from it all.  Next week I am working five days and I am not sure how that will go. 

I am heading home to my real life.  To my life of dance lessons and of soccer momhood.  I am going to back to two jobs and an unemployed husband.  I am going back.  But I want to stay.  The weekend was too short.  I need to do more to be more to understand more.  But at the end I can only do what I can do.  To be who I am.  It was emotional and refreshing all at the same time.  I did something I have never done before and now I want to do all the time.  Although I am going to have to wait for a few months.  Anyway, my flight is getting ready to board so I will head to the gate. 

I caved.  There is no way around it and since it does not really matter in the end I did what they asked and they at the end I may write a letter although I don't think it would do any good at this point. I stand by my original diagnosis and I think they are wrong.  But I need that stupid paper so I am going to do it their way. 

I have been struggling with envy lately.  I know that we have a ton of good things going on in our lives but there are few major things that we have not been able to accomplish.  After a melt down tonight we still have no more answers then before.  But this is not where I want to be.  I would be so much easier if every time I signed on to facebook I was smacked in the face with family members having what we want what we feel would be best in the end.  But instead we are faced with what we have.  Maybe this is my lesson in patience. My lesson in trust. I want to be done with lessons. Speaking of I have taken on a project.  Should be fun.  If it works out there will be pictures. A trip will do me good.  Sitting on the couch of my BFF usually puts things in perspective for me.  Watching her struggles make mine seems so small and insignificant.