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Fighting a Losing Battle

  I had a situation at work where I was fighting against the system.  In the end it appears I lost.  There was nothing more I could do for this patient.  But maybe something will change for another patient.  so maybe I didn't lose after all.  But maybe I should have keep fighting against injustice.  After all that is in my oath. 

Some times the "system" seems bigger then we are and there is no use trying to change it.  Whether it is church or work place or the kids' school.  But sometimes it takes just one person to change it.  Sometimes it is that one person who is able to break down the walls that have been standing for a while, despite the fact that nobody else could. 

The last few days have been overwhelming.  I am ready to file bankruptcy run off to the Bahamas and call it day. But I would probably miss Lee and the  kids after a few hours.  But instead I will move through it.  I will be grateful it wasn't worse and hope next week is better.

Hoping next week I can clean my house and do some decluttering and maybe take the kids to the pool or something else.  Jake at some point is going back up to the cabin to help my mom paint and do some other stuff like move stuff to storage.  We were hoping we could work it out with Lee's dad so that Jake could spend time there with them and we only had to take one trip up there but that doesn't appear it will happen.

I have made a choice that I only have so much time.  So some stuff I am just not doing and if Lee wants them done then he can or the kids can but I just can't put my energy into non productive places at this point. 







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