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Good Advice and Boundaries



I was feeling guilty about something that happened.  I got some good advice and pretty much I have decided that I am done feeling bad and guilty. The advice several people gave is you are playing a game you can't win. Stop playing.   I wanted to win I really did.  I had no idea what the rules were and I thought I had them figured out and thought I was winning but then it was made clear I was not. It wasn't game to me it was my life, 

I lost a few times.  I lost big,  But I thought I could keep trying and that after a while those loses wouldn't matter because I was getting better at the game.

Then I got some information regarding something and then it hit me...I was putting more time and energy into the game then anybody else.  Nobody else cared about me winning and I think some people wanted me to lose.  So I am done,  done playing done feeling like it wasn't good enough, like my best wasn't enough.  I gave my all.  I gave my all even when I didn't want to.  Even when it was so hard and I felt like I was going to throw up.  I did it. It wasn't healthy it was hard on the kids and then there it was so clearly in front of me.

I talked to a few people this week and they both said you can't make somebody like you.  I have also been reading the book Boundaries. Fabulous book and what it comes down to is I have the right to say no.  I have the right to say that just as other people have the right to say no.  So for now I am saying no to playing games and saying yes to staying mentally healthy.  


I wrote this a few weeks ago and debated posting it,  But it is my blog and I can post what I want.  ðŸ˜‰

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