I just need to write my feelings out. I got a gift yesterday but it didn't feel like a gift it felt more like you need some help and I am the one to help you kind of gift. But I didn't want the help. I don't want the gift I wanted time. I wanted so much more then the gift. Ugg...trying so hard not to be frustrated by this. But I am. I guess I am frustrated that I wasn't asked it was just sent. And it will take that I wasn't planning on spending on something I never wanted in the first place. But I kind have to at least do some it. Lee and I talked and we found a way to make the gift less time.
L:ong story short I came across something that made we want to add back to this. Not sure why but hwere we go. Life is constantly chaning and I feel so mnuch surround bu death lately. Not diredctly although I fee like that is coming but more just heartbreak for so many around me. Yesterday Victoria quailfied for state. It was an answer to a prayer. I prayed she would qualify and felt strongly she would. As we left her away at the meet she was certain as were we that she hadn't qualified and then the clouds parted and she will be able to run. She told me she prayed that she would have a good last high school race. and her last race was not grea. There were tears. And rears when she called me to tell me she qualified. So rad trip to ther side of teh state next weekend Wednesday Jake is going through the temple. So many mixed feelings for so many reasons. I shouldn't expect people to show up but sometimes it is just so hard when my mom is the only "church...
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