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Bitterness and Grateful

I am struggling with some bitterness.  I was doing fine and then out of the blue a facebook post made me remember something and the bitterness came back.  I wonder if I will ever get to the point where I don't think about it.  I am bitter at the wrong person I know but she is the one that is in front of me so she gets the anger. 

That being said I am very grateful.  We have been so blessed.  Lee's friend was in town this weekend and they had a good time.  I worked at the hospital yesterday.  I wish I could work there more.  I really love it.  I am dreading going back to work back to never ending cases back abused kids and back to parents who are using. 

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Here is what we have been up to for the past couple of weekends,  Jake had his first soccer game.  Shawn came to visit.  Lee got a new RC truck that he loves and so do the kids.  They spend the weekend chasing the truck which totally wore them out.  We did some gardening.  Victoria and I went to Weiser to a baptism of one of my previous foster kids.  It was so great to see the family again.  I really miss seeing them on a monthly basis.  We played newspaper tag with Shawn and Demitri. Grandma Gina and Grandpa Don stopped by for a little while on their way home.  Oh yea and the primary had a bug day where the kids dressed up like bugs.  Victoria was a butterfly and Jake was a bee.  I  have four more days left of the semester.  Lee is in Kamiah this week to spend some time with Shawn before basic as well as some other things. 

Time to dust this off

L:ong story short I came across something that made we want to add back to this. Not sure why but hwere we go. Life is constantly chaning and I feel so mnuch surround bu death lately. Not diredctly although I fee like that is coming but more just heartbreak for so many around me. Yesterday Victoria quailfied for state. It was an answer to a prayer. I prayed she would qualify and felt strongly she would. As we left her away at the meet she was certain as were we that she hadn't qualified and then the clouds parted and she will be able to run. She told me she prayed that she would have a good last high school race. and her last race was not grea. There were tears. And rears when she called me to tell me she qualified. So rad trip to ther side of teh state next weekend Wednesday Jake is going through the temple. So many mixed feelings for so many reasons. I shouldn't expect people to show up but sometimes it is just so hard when my mom is the only "church...
When you know somebody is having a hard time in their marriage.  Pull them closer.  Ask to take the kids for a weekend.  Bring them dinner.  Reach out to them.  Ask them how they are doing.   Don't insist on visiting or having them visit you.  Know that their world feels like it is falling apart and it is taking every bit of energy to put on a good face for the kids and to work and run a household.  And it is has to be done while they continue to reside with somebody who they are struggling to have the most basic of conversation with.