As soon as I am done with school I am going to make a decision that will change my life. It will seriously change everything about my life. But I keep having second thoughts about leaving. What will it do to the kids? To Lee? Does it really matter as long as I am doing what is best for me? If it is best for me then I think I will do it. Doing what is best for me is really best for the whole family. I am struggling with what to do. I am sure it will come to me once my mind is clearer. I know some people will be supportive yet there will be those who will judge and think I should stay. After all stability is so important. I really wish things would have turned out differently but they didn't.
Right now I am feeling all the feels. We had such a great week with my nephew and Jake. The house is louder and has more enegy when all four kids are home. And our nephew is seriously one of favoriate people. He lets the boys hand on him and they just look up to him so muchd. So I am writting because I am not sure what else to do at this pount. I have been applying for a job(s) that I have been inspired to do for a long time. I have been really trying to to step upside of my comfort zone and apply for things that I know I can do although I have never done them before. I have been considering doing some writing and writing a book. I have no desire to be published I just want to be able to start being more creative . I have so many fears about so many things. Missy Kay turned 19 today and Andrew had his first tennis meet of the seaon. I am thankful for my people who show up to support and love us. There was this moment at the meet where one of the parents gave me haug aft...
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