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Waiting...

Waiting is not something I do well.  Or even pretend to do well.  I got a letter today stating I am cleared for graduation ceremonies on May 7th.  Although it may be a good six months before I get my diploma.  I have asked for special consideration.  I still haven't gotten a response to my email.  Okay so I send it yesterday. I know the professors meet on Mondays so it could be a full week before I get a response.  Really it won't matter for the next few months anyway. 

Lee is back in Utah next week and I am hoping the kids and I can go.  If not then the kids and I will be chilling at home.  I am on call on Wednesday so if I can't get it switched then I am going to stay home and hope my parent's aren't at their cabin if I get called out.  I really shouldn't complain.  I haven't been on call since December.  Although Utah is not where I would live given the choice if it means more time with the kids I would do it. 

I was reading somebody's blog and I was amazed at how open she was with her life.  She had many of the same struggles I have and she was saying exactly what I have felt the past several years but wasn't willing to share.  I think I am scared that if people really know what is going on and what I am really feeling they would judge me and thinking I was being selfish and maybe I am.
I know my true friends wouldn't do that.  But they are the only ones who know what is really going on. 

But all of this is about waiting.  Waiting for NNU waiting on Utah and waiting on life.  But while we are waiting life keeps going so we might as well enjoy the ride. 

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When you know somebody is having a hard time in their marriage.  Pull them closer.  Ask to take the kids for a weekend.  Bring them dinner.  Reach out to them.  Ask them how they are doing.   Don't insist on visiting or having them visit you.  Know that their world feels like it is falling apart and it is taking every bit of energy to put on a good face for the kids and to work and run a household.  And it is has to be done while they continue to reside with somebody who they are struggling to have the most basic of conversation with.
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