So not surprising but still disappointing is how I would describe today. Things aren't getting better. I am so hurt by the whole situation and I think others are too. I am just so ready to be done with all of it. I sometimes wish I could just cut off contact with certain people. Somebody asked how I was doing and then moments later left the conversation. If you really cared you have have lasted more then 30 seconds after my response. You would know part of the issue was you. But you don't know or care because everything is all about you. It has been the same things for years. I am figuring out that people never change. Never really change. Sure they can fake it for a while but after a while they go back to who they really are. I wish I could stop thinking there is really something out there. Stop thinking there is somebody out there. It is all so complicated and hard to explain. How do I explain that the issue is mine not yours with out hurting feelings. With out sounding like a total brat. I really want to move on but then what?
This has been a tough week. I worked some extra hours which were only five hour shifts but were still were time away from the kids. Kids are at their breaking point and wether or not they know it they need schedules and some stablness. School starts Tuesday and comments about how people hope my kids dont kill their teachers with COVID is neither helpful or accurate. Plus we had a budget meeting after months of no meetings. In which we found out that we had once again over spent in August. Which could have been stopped if we would have known earlier in the month. I sent $1500 to student loans. Andrew turned eight yesterday and I am so thankful for him. He is become such a deep thinker and asks these amazing questions that I don't always have the answers to. The meds have helped slow him down but he is still crazy Andrew. We upped the medications and it was like he was on speed. He couldn't sleep and was kind of zombie like. Then there has been a few moments wher
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