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Stressing and feeling left out...

I am feeling left out of so many things these days.  But more then that I am feeling betrayal. I feel like I keep reaching out to people but I don't get anything in return.  It is hard to explain.  And even harder because I don't want everybody to know.  But it has been a tough transition.  But one I feel like I have to go through alone. 

Lee is scheduled for surgery on Wednesday and I am scared to death about it.  I was going to leave Friday for Washington but now I just don't know.  Lee still wants me to go.  But I am think that I will wait until Saturday and possibly skip my sister in law's dinner.  It doesn't sound super kid friendly and I would be with all the kids after being in the car for several hours. I am considering getting a hotel in Seattle Saturday night.  One with a pool and we can order pizza and the kids would have a blast.  Although I may miss the weekend all together and not go up until Monday.  My biggest concern is that Lee won't have access to the doctor's office until Monday morning if I leave Friday. My BFF doesn't care when I show up plus if I am gone only a week I can rent a car with out it costing an arm and leg. 

But what my friend suggested is just chill out and see how it goes and don't plan anything at this point. Which is what I will probably do since she is super smart and makes lots of sense.  :) 

We survived the first week of the summer.  Super excited for the rest of the summer.  Lee's sister said that she may be changing her plans which means we would meet her in Salt Lake instead of Kamiah which works way way better for us.  And by us I mean me.  :)

Plus I am totally stressing about how much this surgery is going to cost us.  We still have medical bills from Andrew's RSV and we are paying off Luke's birth and now this.  Lee feels super strongly it needs to get done. 

Date night tonight.  Super excited.

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When you know somebody is having a hard time in their marriage.  Pull them closer.  Ask to take the kids for a weekend.  Bring them dinner.  Reach out to them.  Ask them how they are doing.   Don't insist on visiting or having them visit you.  Know that their world feels like it is falling apart and it is taking every bit of energy to put on a good face for the kids and to work and run a household.  And it is has to be done while they continue to reside with somebody who they are struggling to have the most basic of conversation with.