Skip to main content

Stressing and feeling left out...

I am feeling left out of so many things these days.  But more then that I am feeling betrayal. I feel like I keep reaching out to people but I don't get anything in return.  It is hard to explain.  And even harder because I don't want everybody to know.  But it has been a tough transition.  But one I feel like I have to go through alone. 

Lee is scheduled for surgery on Wednesday and I am scared to death about it.  I was going to leave Friday for Washington but now I just don't know.  Lee still wants me to go.  But I am think that I will wait until Saturday and possibly skip my sister in law's dinner.  It doesn't sound super kid friendly and I would be with all the kids after being in the car for several hours. I am considering getting a hotel in Seattle Saturday night.  One with a pool and we can order pizza and the kids would have a blast.  Although I may miss the weekend all together and not go up until Monday.  My biggest concern is that Lee won't have access to the doctor's office until Monday morning if I leave Friday. My BFF doesn't care when I show up plus if I am gone only a week I can rent a car with out it costing an arm and leg. 

But what my friend suggested is just chill out and see how it goes and don't plan anything at this point. Which is what I will probably do since she is super smart and makes lots of sense.  :) 

We survived the first week of the summer.  Super excited for the rest of the summer.  Lee's sister said that she may be changing her plans which means we would meet her in Salt Lake instead of Kamiah which works way way better for us.  And by us I mean me.  :)

Plus I am totally stressing about how much this surgery is going to cost us.  We still have medical bills from Andrew's RSV and we are paying off Luke's birth and now this.  Lee feels super strongly it needs to get done. 

Date night tonight.  Super excited.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

This week was a Struggle

This has been a tough week. I worked some extra hours which were only five hour shifts but were still were time away from the kids. Kids are at their breaking point and wether or not they know it they need schedules and some stablness. School starts Tuesday and comments about how people hope my kids dont kill their teachers with COVID is neither helpful or accurate. Plus we had a budget meeting after months of no meetings. In which we found out that we had once again over spent in August. Which could have been stopped if we would have known earlier in the month. I sent $1500 to student loans. Andrew turned eight yesterday and I am so thankful for him. He is become such a deep thinker and asks these amazing questions that I don't always have the answers to. The meds have helped slow him down but he is still crazy Andrew. We upped the medications and it was like he was on speed. He couldn't sleep and was kind of zombie like. Then there has been a few moments wher...

A Little COVID Update

SO what have been up to. Lots of nothing COVID sent me into a huge mess of depression and anxiety that I have slowly been getting through thanks to medication. The medications have made me a much better mom and wife. We spent a week with Lee's family at his family reunion last week. There was so many good fun times but there was also some frustration where Lee and I felt like we were the built in babysitters and people kept just leaving their children with us. I tried to be compassionate but sometimes it is hard. We are thankful for all the great memories we had, older kids got to go to Lagoon with their cousins which was fabulous despite snide comments about how much we make and what we can afford. We are thankful for Lee's brother and family hosting and always for the generosity of Lee's dad and Gina. And Lee's cousin took amazing pictures Jake got his permit and overall isn't such a bad driver just inexperienced. Marching band sort of kind of was cance...

Covid 19

Words can not expressed the range of emotions I am feeling at the moment.  One week ago we had it all planned out.  Then Covid happened.  And the whole world was suddenly on hold.  Kids had school Monday but then have been out for ten days and are scheduled to return on the 20th of April.  However most people think that is unlikely.  My heart is breaking for graduating seniors.  We cancelled our trip to Zion which may have happened any way because it was calling for snow.  I hope we will rise from this stronger but right now I feel like curling up in a ball and crying. Lee now has work at home options since we have not been put on "lockdown" at this point although several other areas and cities across the county including a few in Idaho have been. I try and  look for the good.  Healthy kids, good weather, lots of projects we put off being completed.  But some moments it feels like we are missing on so much. We did church at ho...