Too stressed and anxious to sleep. Questions in my mind. What if it goes well? Could I really come back to this place? What would we do? What would I do? Could the kids handle it? Could I handle it? It could be worse. It isn't too far. Doctors? Dance class? Soccer? Could I really do it? Is it better then the unknown? We would not be alone. Questions with no answers at this point. Just a lot of what if. Lee doesn't like what ifs. Deal with it when we get there. If we never get there all the worries were for nothing. Wishing I could be more like that.
This has been a tough week. I worked some extra hours which were only five hour shifts but were still were time away from the kids. Kids are at their breaking point and wether or not they know it they need schedules and some stablness. School starts Tuesday and comments about how people hope my kids dont kill their teachers with COVID is neither helpful or accurate. Plus we had a budget meeting after months of no meetings. In which we found out that we had once again over spent in August. Which could have been stopped if we would have known earlier in the month. I sent $1500 to student loans. Andrew turned eight yesterday and I am so thankful for him. He is become such a deep thinker and asks these amazing questions that I don't always have the answers to. The meds have helped slow him down but he is still crazy Andrew. We upped the medications and it was like he was on speed. He couldn't sleep and was kind of zombie like. Then there has been a few moments wher
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