What nobody ever wants to hear...

I have had a "crisis of faith" for years now.  Probably close to five.  I struggle with going to church I struggle with some of the lessons being taught.  Modesty being one of them. The kicker came when my sister in law said that she thought everybody who thought that women should get the priesthood were "idiots" and "should find a new church".  It hurt.  I do think that one day women will get the priesthood.  I don't think it will be all women but I believe there will be a select few who will get it.  That being said I don't think I need the priesthood to bless my children.  I can bless them and call on healing powers with out the priesthood present.  I have done so.  Not the typical laying on of hands but a blessing none the less.  It hurts me that so many women are so rude to people who think different then they do.  It hurts that I have to stifle my opinion in order to not upset family or to become a ward project.  Nobody really wants to hear the reason why so many women think similar to the way I do.  They just say nope that is the way it is.

I believe that God loves me and that at the end of the day what matters most is that we are helping out our neighbors.  Reaching out to people who need somebody.  That is the key to getting into heaven.  People never want to hear that somebody disagrees with them.  Trust me it has caused me some problems with some people.  But for now it is what it is.  For now I will let a select group hear my story if they are willing to listen.

Do I have issues and concerns with the church?  Yes!  Do I believe that it is the right place for me to be right now?  Yes!  I think the church has been making huge strides to be more equal but they still have a long ways to go.  But I am not going to leave because the church needs to have people that advocate for things that are right or correct.