Right now I am feeling all the feels. We had such a great week with my nephew and Jake. The house is louder and has more enegy when all four kids are home. And our nephew is seriously one of favoriate people. He lets the boys hand on him and they just look up to him so muchd. So I am writting because I am not sure what else to do at this pount. I have been applying for a job(s) that I have been inspired to do for a long time. I have been really trying to to step upside of my comfort zone and apply for things that I know I can do although I have never done them before. I have been considering doing some writing and writing a book. I have no desire to be published I just want to be able to start being more creative .
I have so many fears about so many things.
Missy Kay turned 19 today and Andrew had his first tennis meet of the seaon. I am thankful for my people who show up to support and love us. There was this moment at the meet where one of the parents gave me haug after he made me cry by asking a simple qustion. I was touched an humbled by his caring.
Live is good and scary as Hell and I forgot how much wriging calms my soul
Good night blogging world
I sometimes wonder where to draw the line in this whole blogging thing. I could make us look like the "perfect" family or I could deal with all of our disappointment and make everybody think that we quite possible have the worse life ever. Or maybe there is a middle ground somewhere that I have yet to find in this blog. Today was a rough day. Don't get me wrong I am so excited that everybody around me is having babies. But for some reason today I was caught up in the losses all over again. I am wondering when it stops. Maybe it never does. Maybe it will be a life time of wondering what if I would have gone full term. Several people have asked when (or if) we are going to have another baby. I am not sure. Sometimes that answer is yes and sometimes it is no. But one thing is for certain it isn't right now. Really I don't need to have a ton of kids to fill some void. I love my two kids and if that is all ...
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