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Let's get real....Marriage isn't always easy.

I am going to be real for a moment....

Today is my 15th marriage anniversary.  For me marriage doesn't come easy either does motherhood but that is for another day.    Earlier this year I honestly didn't know if I was going to make it to another anniversary.  There were four things that happened very close together.  The first three in fact were less then a month apart.  Due to that I really felt justified in leaving my marriage.  The truth is I was probably justified.  One of the things that happened could have  caused me to lose my kids and possibly my job.  But that really would have been worse case. Actually worse case would have been the death of one of our kids.  There were about three or four months where I honestly didn't know if I wanted to stay married.. 

I knew I could financially care for the kids and so that was never a reason I felt I should stay.  In the end though one of the reasons I did stay was the kids.  I heard a quote once that said that there is always a reason to file for divorce you have to find the reasons to stay married.  So I did.  I found lots of them.  It in no way excuses bad behavior and I still have my days where marriage seems like more work then I want to put in.  But I had a thought yesterday.  I have felt lately that Lee hasn't been pulling his own weight.  Then I had a thought that there are times where I haven't pulled my own weight where I haven't pulled any weight at all.  Lee was there to pick up the slack. 

I am hopeful as I look forward towards the next 15 years.  Our "baby" will be 16 almost 17.  We will have two kids out of the house and on their own.  Andrew will be 18 and either on a mission or in college.

Despite a rocky few months I know I may a good choice when getting married to Lee.  There are things I would change for sure but, I am married to my bestest friend come what may.    Marriage is hard work some days and some days it is so easy.  I am glad I married a guy who early on told me "Divorce is not an option"  I know that I have things I could do to make my marriage better.  But nobody is perfect and all we can do is be better today then we were yesterday. 


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