One year.....

One year ago we buried my dad.  I remember that day with fondness.  I remember my cousins flying up from Phoenix to come celebrate dad with us. My cousins who drove in from Washington and Oregon. I remember my dad's old employees coming up from Twin and telling us how dad was the greatest manager they ever had.  I remember Lee talking about Dad and how he was the one who was there when Lee walked out of his own mother's service.  I remember me and my sisters each in our own way speaking about memories of our dad and how much he meant to us.  I remember six great men laying dad to rest.  I remember my best friend being there with Andrew because she knew that is what we needed.  I remember my uncle's speech on his baby brother.  He had never spoken in a Mormon church and I am sure he will never again. I remember that my dad's high school friends were there.  My co-workers from the hospital came to the viewing.  I remember the crazy idea my sisters had to bury the gun with dad.  And then when then started lifting up the blanket that was hanging over the coffin I kept thinking the worker is going to see the gun.  But now I know it wouldn't have mattered if he did or not.  Really what was he going to say?  Why is this in here?

 I also remember the support we didn't get.  I won't go in to detail but we had asked for some help the night of the funeral and we didn't get it.  I do remember the night of the funeral we went to parent teacher conferences.  We were drained the teachers had offered to move the conferences to another day and we declined.  Victoria was so silly and couldn't stop laughing Lee was slowly losing patience.  The teacher thought we were crazy.   

 

A few weeks after the funeral I had a dream about Dad.  It was so clear and crazy all at the same time.  

 

I miss him so much some days.