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Missing Persons Report

Several times in the last few weeks one of our older children have spent the night somewhere.  Although I am glad they are off enjoying themselves I miss them.  I feel as though our family isn't complete.  Not like I have a bad feeling just a missing feeling. Tonight Lee will be gone for several hours out with his friend and it is the same feeling.  Which I don't usually have when Lee is gone. Maybe I am just feeling lonely in general.

Speaking of missing persons

Today was my dad's birthday.  More emotional then I thought. More emotional then Christmas.  It was lonely and hard.  

And our son who is still waiting to join our family is doing well.  I am ready to be done with pregnancy with constant pain.  I am had some concerns with some stuff that was going to happen after the baby but after texting my BFF and talking to my mom then I think we have a plan.  Although I am not sure how it will turn out in the end.  My mother will be gone until 1/31 which means this baby can't come more then two weeks early.  I have decided to set my induction for 2/18 if he doesn't arrive by then which I am certain he will.But I thought Andrew would come early as well.  Nope not him! :). Although I reserve the right to change my mind.


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