Normally I don't like to complain about pregnancy. But this time I am so ready to be done. Between throwing up, pain all the time and heart burn I am ready to be done. This pregnancy has been way more trying then my others. I haven't really bonded like I have in the past. Plus emotionally I have struggled. I don't want four kids I never did. I was done at three. I am not ready for the comments. I am hoping I feel differently when the baby comes. I am pretty sure unless the baby comes early I will induce. There are so many reasons for this. I know people disagree but at this point I don't care.
I sometimes wonder where to draw the line in this whole blogging thing. I could make us look like the "perfect" family or I could deal with all of our disappointment and make everybody think that we quite possible have the worse life ever. Or maybe there is a middle ground somewhere that I have yet to find in this blog. Today was a rough day. Don't get me wrong I am so excited that everybody around me is having babies. But for some reason today I was caught up in the losses all over again. I am wondering when it stops. Maybe it never does. Maybe it will be a life time of wondering what if I would have gone full term. Several people have asked when (or if) we are going to have another baby. I am not sure. Sometimes that answer is yes and sometimes it is no. But one thing is for certain it isn't right now. Really I don't need to have a ton of kids to fill some void. I love my two kids and if that is all ...
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