This week was a Struggle

This has been a tough week. I worked some extra hours which were only five hour shifts but were still were time away from the kids. Kids are at their breaking point and wether or not they know it they need schedules and some stablness. School starts Tuesday and comments about how people hope my kids dont kill their teachers with COVID is neither helpful or accurate. Plus we had a budget meeting after months of no meetings. In which we found out that we had once again over spent in August. Which could have been stopped if we would have known earlier in the month. I sent $1500 to student loans. Andrew turned eight yesterday and I am so thankful for him. He is become such a deep thinker and asks these amazing questions that I don't always have the answers to. The meds have helped slow him down but he is still crazy Andrew. We upped the medications and it was like he was on speed. He couldn't sleep and was kind of zombie like. Then there has been a few moments where I feel alone and left out and I am trying to get to the point where it doesn't matter but it still does. I am thankful for so much and I need to focus more on that and less on those people who can't or won't support us. I am still trying to figure out how to take another small weekend trip with the kids. Older kids will have a four day weekend every weekend and I want to just get out of town one more time before COVID cases start rising again. Then I tried to get a weekend off because Lee is leaving on a Thursday for his bike trip and I was told no. Then my sister in law may or may not be getting married on the weekend we were going to go out of town for our 20th anniversary. I am so frustrated that once again Lee didn't tell her we had plans even though we may have moved them for a wedding he didn't even bother to mention it. As of now Victoria is going to be bridesmaid so we may need to fly her up there because she has a football game the night before. Right now the wedding is scheduled in Seattle. But nothing has been set for sure. I may just be flying Lee and Victoria to the wedding. 16 hour round trip drive with the little boys when we are going to be there less then 48 hours doesn't sound enjoyable and it means I will need to give up two shifts at BHU which is money we could use but don't necessarily "need". Plus there is the possiblity of having to get a hotel so all the money we would have spent on our anniversary trip will be going to the wedding. Then I invited a family member to Andrew's baptism and was told Why would we come if we can't even attend in person? Ummm maybe to come support us. A e icing on the cake was the van is currently undriveable. It appears to be a electic issue which could end up costing lotsof money. s