Skip to main content

So many mixed emotions

About a week ago we went to the Meridian open house. I prayed and fasted before I went really hoping that I would get some answers and I would want to go get my temple recommend and go back to the temple.  But it didn't happen.  All the anxiety and emotions came out.  It is an amazing building.  I am thankful I got to go with the kids and Lee but it still isn't a place where I want to be.  Although it is a place I want to want to be.

Then on Saturday Jake had the opportunity to preform at the cultural celebration.  I am sooooo proud of him.  It isn't always easy for him to get up in crowds and he isn't a natural performer but they pulled it off.  The celebration was cheesy but well done and thought out.    There were 6000 kids in all and I think they time and effort they put in was impressive so much hard work for the past two and half months.

Not sure where this leaves me I am so many feelings so many mixed emotions.  I am thankful for a place online where my emotions and feeling can be validated.  I was able to "talk" through it with an online forum and while there are still no good answers st this point I will just keep doing what I am doing and hope with time there is clarity.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Feeling all the Feels

Right now I am feeling all the feels. We had such a great week with my nephew and Jake. The house is louder and has more enegy when all four kids are home. And our nephew is seriously one of favoriate people. He lets the boys hand on him and they just look up to him so muchd. So I am writting because I am not sure what else to do at this pount. I have been applying for a job(s) that I have been inspired to do for a long time. I have been really trying to to step upside of my comfort zone and apply for things that I know I can do although I have never done them before. I have been considering doing some writing and writing a book. I have no desire to be published I just want to be able to start being more creative . I have so many fears about so many things. Missy Kay turned 19 today and Andrew had his first tennis meet of the seaon. I am thankful for my people who show up to support and love us. There was this moment at the meet where one of the parents gave me haug aft...
Post a Comment
Read more

Time to dust this off

L:ong story short I came across something that made we want to add back to this. Not sure why but hwere we go. Life is constantly chaning and I feel so mnuch surround bu death lately. Not diredctly although I fee like that is coming but more just heartbreak for so many around me. Yesterday Victoria quailfied for state. It was an answer to a prayer. I prayed she would qualify and felt strongly she would. As we left her away at the meet she was certain as were we that she hadn't qualified and then the clouds parted and she will be able to run. She told me she prayed that she would have a good last high school race. and her last race was not grea. There were tears. And rears when she called me to tell me she qualified. So rad trip to ther side of teh state next weekend Wednesday Jake is going through the temple. So many mixed feelings for so many reasons. I shouldn't expect people to show up but sometimes it is just so hard when my mom is the only "church...
Post a Comment
Read more

It has been a week

Here is how the week went Monday: OUr 25th anniversary. I was sick. We went and tried a Cuban restrant not as good as the food we had in Miami but it was good. We love trying new local places. It ended in tears. I won't go into all the details but I am relaizing that this is not the marriage I want. I am open about what I need and we will go from there. Luke started wrestling. Tuesday: End of the year banquent for Luke and Andrew. Luke recevied the "Most Improved" Awared. Here is the thing about that. His coach talked about how during summer practice he wouldn't even run 100 yeards. He would just stop. At some point after the first meet it clicked and he just ran and did what he needed to do. He went up adn accepted the award with such confidence. Wednesday: Both boys had activities. Andrew had stayed home from school due to not felling wel. My guess is he just needed a rest. He was feeling up for going and making pizzas at the Bishop's hous...
Post a Comment
Read more