So I love planners. I had a little one last year and bought a small one in December 2015. But it wasn't enough. I kept looking for the perfect one and although I am not sure I found it I think I found something close enough. It is called the "Mormon Mom Planner" and I figured I would give it a try. I have nothing else to lose really except $40 and I figure I can always go back to my old one if the new one does not work. It has been years since I have carried a planner before half way through last year. But I enjoy being able to just write stuff down and have it there. I don't really like Google calendar although I have tried to use it. There was an online one I really liked ....now I can't recall the name but it was great for online but really I am a pen and paper kind of girl. So for the next week I will use my small planner and then hopefully before our trip to McCall I will have it so I can sit in the condo and plan stuff. I almost talked myself out of it because January is almost over but 2016 isn't even close to being over so I ordered it. And If I like it I can order it for next year. Or I will be back to searching for one I like.
I sometimes wonder where to draw the line in this whole blogging thing. I could make us look like the "perfect" family or I could deal with all of our disappointment and make everybody think that we quite possible have the worse life ever. Or maybe there is a middle ground somewhere that I have yet to find in this blog. Today was a rough day. Don't get me wrong I am so excited that everybody around me is having babies. But for some reason today I was caught up in the losses all over again. I am wondering when it stops. Maybe it never does. Maybe it will be a life time of wondering what if I would have gone full term. Several people have asked when (or if) we are going to have another baby. I am not sure. Sometimes that answer is yes and sometimes it is no. But one thing is for certain it isn't right now. Really I don't need to have a ton of kids to fill some void. I love my two kids and if that is all ...
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