Dying and Friends

I was going to write about the events of the last two weeks and I probably will and post at a later date. But I figure at this point if people want to know they can ask and people who care already know. The thing about the last two weeks is that I know who my friends are and they have so supportive despite two of them living what seems like a million miles away.

I reached out to a family member to tell her things were not going well I was totally ignored. I got over it. Okay so I almost got over it. Some people in this whole process have been so disappointing.

My sister last night when we were at the hospital said that Life is good. And last night it was. Tomorrow may not be but right now that is okay. It is going to be a long few months. But that is all part of it.

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Random Thoughts

I sometimes wonder where to draw the line in this whole blogging thing. I could make us look like the "perfect" family or I could deal with all of our disappointment and make everybody think that we quite possible have the worse life ever. Or maybe there is a middle ground somewhere that I have yet to find in this blog. Today was a rough day. Don't get me wrong I am so excited that everybody around me is having babies. But for some reason today I was caught up in the losses all over again. I am wondering when it stops. Maybe it never does. Maybe it will be a life time of wondering what if I would have gone full term. Several people have asked when (or if) we are going to have another baby. I am not sure. Sometimes that answer is yes and sometimes it is no. But one thing is for certain it isn't right now. Really I don't need to have a ton of kids to fill some void. I love my two kids and if that is all ...

It has been a week

Here is how the week went Monday: OUr 25th anniversary. I was sick. We went and tried a Cuban restrant not as good as the food we had in Miami but it was good. We love trying new local places. It ended in tears. I won't go into all the details but I am relaizing that this is not the marriage I want. I am open about what I need and we will go from there. Luke started wrestling. Tuesday: End of the year banquent for Luke and Andrew. Luke recevied the "Most Improved" Awared. Here is the thing about that. His coach talked about how during summer practice he wouldn't even run 100 yeards. He would just stop. At some point after the first meet it clicked and he just ran and did what he needed to do. He went up adn accepted the award with such confidence. Wednesday: Both boys had activities. Andrew had stayed home from school due to not felling wel. My guess is he just needed a rest. He was feeling up for going and making pizzas at the Bishop's hous...

Heavy Week

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The Six of Us

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