Somebody made a comment about how sometimes people make decisions and don't realize the lasting impact on others. It was a long day. I really don't like it when my personal life and professional life crash head on. That is what happened today. On one hand I have somebody who I consider a friend whose world just came crashing down around her and she has no control over it. On the other hand I have work and while it is unclear at this time what CPS is going to do I feel like I got put in the middle. But I feel like we shouldn't even be involved. However, this is is a situation where somebody didn't really think about their actions and the long term effects it would have on so many people.
I sometimes wonder where to draw the line in this whole blogging thing. I could make us look like the "perfect" family or I could deal with all of our disappointment and make everybody think that we quite possible have the worse life ever. Or maybe there is a middle ground somewhere that I have yet to find in this blog. Today was a rough day. Don't get me wrong I am so excited that everybody around me is having babies. But for some reason today I was caught up in the losses all over again. I am wondering when it stops. Maybe it never does. Maybe it will be a life time of wondering what if I would have gone full term. Several people have asked when (or if) we are going to have another baby. I am not sure. Sometimes that answer is yes and sometimes it is no. But one thing is for certain it isn't right now. Really I don't need to have a ton of kids to fill some void. I love my two kids and if that is all ...
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