I just noticed the hospital has a new job posting. I am not totally sure I would qualify. It would be a different department then I am now. But I am wondering if I should apply. Maybe I will wait until the baby is born and then see if it is still there. The money is so much better at the hospital but that is in part because I am PRN which means I get a differental I would lose. Plus it would be less hours not a lot less but enough less. Benifits are pretty much the same although the retirement is better at the hospital. Just not sure what to do. Working two weekends a month would be hard. I guess I will need do some praying about this. I wish I had a crystal ball.
I sometimes wonder where to draw the line in this whole blogging thing. I could make us look like the "perfect" family or I could deal with all of our disappointment and make everybody think that we quite possible have the worse life ever. Or maybe there is a middle ground somewhere that I have yet to find in this blog. Today was a rough day. Don't get me wrong I am so excited that everybody around me is having babies. But for some reason today I was caught up in the losses all over again. I am wondering when it stops. Maybe it never does. Maybe it will be a life time of wondering what if I would have gone full term. Several people have asked when (or if) we are going to have another baby. I am not sure. Sometimes that answer is yes and sometimes it is no. But one thing is for certain it isn't right now. Really I don't need to have a ton of kids to fill some void. I love my two kids and if that is all ...
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