It is only when you are in the service of your fellowmen you are in the service of God. Yup I know that it isn't word for word the scripture but I got the point. We have started doing service once a month as a family. This weekend was full of service. We gave food to Scouting for Food and we went and did another project this weekend. It was good. In December we will pull a few names off the tree and buy presents for kids. I over budget for Christmas every year for this very reason. I remember my mom doing the 12 days of Christmas for a family she felt was in need. Not necessarily financial in need but emotionally and spiritually in need. I went over our fiances tonight. We have some debt but we also have quite a bit in savings. We are about half way to my (1st) savings goal. Once the debt is gone I would like to have five times what my goal now is.
I sometimes wonder where to draw the line in this whole blogging thing. I could make us look like the "perfect" family or I could deal with all of our disappointment and make everybody think that we quite possible have the worse life ever. Or maybe there is a middle ground somewhere that I have yet to find in this blog. Today was a rough day. Don't get me wrong I am so excited that everybody around me is having babies. But for some reason today I was caught up in the losses all over again. I am wondering when it stops. Maybe it never does. Maybe it will be a life time of wondering what if I would have gone full term. Several people have asked when (or if) we are going to have another baby. I am not sure. Sometimes that answer is yes and sometimes it is no. But one thing is for certain it isn't right now. Really I don't need to have a ton of kids to fill some void. I love my two kids and if that is all ...
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