A good work out is so good for depression. Not like I am depressed just more in a funk. Lee got me Zumba for the Wii. But then I found out I was pregnant so workouts went to the back burner where it has been for the past two years thanks to grad school. So I just did the Zumba workout tonight and I loved it. What is even better then me loving it is the kids loved doing it with me. I just wish I could find the motivation to get up in the morning because when I do work out in the morning it makes my day go so much better. I am not really worried about what the scale says I just want to be able to fit back into my jeans again. I am drinking a ton of water too. Due to the things that I have happened over this past week my body hasn't reacted well. I won't give the details but I am hoping working out, drinking water and getting the house under control will have an impact on me physically and emotionally. I have a lot of stress lately. Lee being gone, final exams and my licensing exam plus there is my two classes I need to do well in. I know what I need to do and how to do it now I just need to do it.
I sometimes wonder where to draw the line in this whole blogging thing. I could make us look like the "perfect" family or I could deal with all of our disappointment and make everybody think that we quite possible have the worse life ever. Or maybe there is a middle ground somewhere that I have yet to find in this blog. Today was a rough day. Don't get me wrong I am so excited that everybody around me is having babies. But for some reason today I was caught up in the losses all over again. I am wondering when it stops. Maybe it never does. Maybe it will be a life time of wondering what if I would have gone full term. Several people have asked when (or if) we are going to have another baby. I am not sure. Sometimes that answer is yes and sometimes it is no. But one thing is for certain it isn't right now. Really I don't need to have a ton of kids to fill some void. I love my two kids and if that is all ...
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