The Six of Us

Yesterday was  tough day today was good I just may win this battle after all.  Crossing my fingers this weekend goes the way I want. So many thoughts and emotions right now.  Lots of tears yesterday.  Surviving some days just barely.  Don't care what you say.  I do what is best for me.  

We always want to wait for that perfect timing.  Things are too busy right now.  We will take that family vacation when we have more money more time.  We will apply for the new job when we are secure in ours.  Waiting.  But it comes down to there is no time like right now.  People die everyday.  We need to do what we want to do today, not tomorrow.  There is time if you find the time.  There may not be time when the kids are older.  So do it now!  Go visit grandparents now.  Send an I love you now.  Because nobody is promised tomorrow. Don't look back with regrets look back with fondness that you did what you did at the time. So many things that I wish I hadn't put off.  That being said I am going to put off going back to school for another year. :)   There are some online classes I take free.  I don't want to ever stop learning something new.  There are some classes I am going to take through...

Doing my taxes makes me miss my dad.  My healthy dad.  The one that did my taxes for me since I was 15.  Had a dream about him.  It wasn't until I was telling somebody about it that it made sense.  I really think it was more then a dream.   Crying now.  The End!

Spring Break officially ended yesterday and the kids go back to school Monday.  I am going to miss them.  The cabin was nice and semi-relaxing. Way more snow then I thought there would be  After that trip I am debating taking all four kids to Seattle in June.  I may just fly up solo in May.  So many decisions. I have decided to give notice at work on Monday.  I spoke to HR yesterday and she won't be shocked neither will my supervisor.  I am just so ready to move on. but it is hard after a decade. My friends have been supportive although we all know that in a year I want to be back to working.  I just need to leave the state and find something that isn't so draining on the soul. Jakes first Lacrosse game is Monday.  But the weather is going to be bad.  Uggg.,..Me with the two little boys trying to watch the game does not sound like fun. Hoping the sun comes out soon and stays for a while. Victoria's birthday is next week and she w...

I just noticed that I had written three posts that in ever published.  Short update my kids are amazing. Still adjusting to four.  Lacrosse is so much fun to watch one month left.  Seven weeks left until dance recital and last day of school., still trying to plan a family vacation.  I am pretty sure Yellowstone is out and we are looking at the Oregon coast.  Summer is filling up fast some things I am looking forward to more then others. Luke is smiling more and crying less.  I am taking a class and I got a 97% on my presentation.  I now need to do well on my final paper which is due on Saturday.  I have to testify on Tuesday crossing my fingers the ,other backs out and I don't need to.  Garage sale Memorial Day weekend so I am getting rid of lots.  What doesn't sell will go to goodwill. Love getting rid of stuff. Pics on camara that I need to download. Feeling the need to justify every decision i do to family.  Some family membe...

So yesterday I was going to give notice I wasn't coming back to work after leave but after doing some research I found out that the state can come after me for the health insurance cost they paid while I was on leave.  It makes sense but it also means that either I have to go back to work for two weeks or pay back several thousand dollars.  Maybe????  The handbook states they can not that they will necessarily.  So I emailed HR to find out what my options are.  Really if we had the money it would be worth it to never have to go back.  But.....we will have to wait and see.  But after some policy changes I found out about I don't think it is any longer a good fit for me to be there.  So the plan is to take the summer off and then find something part time in the fall.  I already have several trips planned. The kids and I will be spending a week in Seattle/Portland Five days for Yellowstone Five Days in McCall and in August we will be goin...

Friday I am feeling very Pinteresty today.  Yes that is a word.  (If only in my world)  So today I made fabric softener sheets with sponges.  They worked.  YEA!!!  I also made pizza dough for dinner and made oatmeal cookies.  Plus I went to Fred Meyer and WalMart with the little boys.  I changed what seems like a thousand diapers.  I never finish this post yesterday so here is the rest of it.  Lee and I are trying to make some hard decisions and I don't want to.  I don't want to do what I know what I need to do,  Stupid I know so I am stalling until the last possible moment.  I am taking the kids to the cabin in three weeks for three days.  All four of them without Lee.  My mom is going. Worried about how it will turn out but it should be fine.  I haven't been out of town since the beach in July.  So unlike me.  Okay I did take a 48 hour trip in early September to Seattle when my friend was ...